


How it would feel

by kettleowl



Category: Given (Manga)
Genre: Drabble, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Light Angst, M/M, One Night Stands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 23:10:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19895908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kettleowl/pseuds/kettleowl
Summary: Haruki had sex and thought about Akihiko





	How it would feel

**Author's Note:**

> I like hurting Haruki and myself

1.  
About two weeks after he invited Akihiko to join the band, Haruki slept with a man. It was his first time. He didn’t know if it was just his personality or because of nerve, but he prepared a lot. He didn’t have much money, but he managed to hire a male escort who was quite experienced at sexual intercourses between men. Haruki even learned how to douche himself. He spent hours watching videos and reading articles; then ordering the set online because he was too embarrassed to actually go to an adult shop in person.  


The day came. Haruki took a shower beforehand at his place, put on his better-than-normal clothes and style his hair. He didn’t know why he did all that. It wasn’t necessary. This wasn’t a date. They would just sleep with each other. That was all, no more contact, just one night.  


When he reached the hotel room, the escort was already inside, waiting for him with a glass of champagne. The escort smiled and all Haruki could notice was his lip piercings. It started easy enough, the alcohols slowly worked in his system calming Haruki down more than he thought it could. They talked about random things and Haruki felt like this was all a dream.  


Then they took a bath together, that was when some light fondling and kissing started. Haruki couldn’t remember much about that night. He could remember the feeling of someone inside him, the feeling of reaching climax from anal sex for the first time. Haruki remembered when the escort kissed him, as his lip piercings scratched against Haruki’s lips, he asked himself if that was how it would feel if he kissed Akihiko. 

2.  
It was almost 2 months after that that Haruki slept with another man again. This time, it was a casual hook-up. He had gone out with Take-chan and a group of friends to a bar that night. Haruki didn’t know why, but a gut feeling told him that he should douche before going. So, he did. This time too, Haruki put on his nicer clothes. And no one but Take-chan noticed that his hairstyle was a bit more eye-catching than usual.  


This time, Haruki could remember that the man was taller than him, looked older than him too and he was muscular. The man had paid for Haruki’s drinks when he was ordering at the bar. Haruki smiled and dragged his hand up the man’s arm, feeling the muscle jumped under his palm.  


After that, everything suddenly became fast-paced. One moment, Haruki was dancing with the man, the next he was texting Take-chan that he was leaving and suddenly, Haruki had a dick in his mouth. The man was rough, and Haruki found out he didn’t mind that. He liked the feeling of hands in his hair. He liked it when the man shoved his dick deep inside. He liked it that the man was using him.  


When they fucked, the man was no less rough. To Haruki, it felt like it was even rougher than before, fast-paced, dirty talking and biting. As he clung to the man’s arms and back, Haruki wondered if Akihiko’s muscles would move like this under his hand. 

3.  
Haruki didn’t remember exactly when the third time happened, but he remembered clearly with who he did it with. He and Take-chan were having a catching-up night at his place, finishing some assignment and editing some videos. There was no alcohol involved this time but still, Haruki couldn’t remember who initiated it.  


But sex with Yatake felt different somehow, maybe because Yatake was his friend. Maybe because this wasn’t just some stranger that he met online or at a bar. Haruki let Yatake showered first. After that, Haruki took his time in the shower and prepared himself carefully.  


Haruki remembered Yatake’s surprised face when he walked into the bedroom, droplets of water running down his naked body. He could still recall Yatake’s startled breath when he said he had prepared everything and Yatake could do anything to him. He could still hear Yatake’s gasp as he climaxed from Haruki’s blowjob.  


Haruki remembered running his hands through Take-chan’s hair and Take-chan doing the same to him. Both of their hair was longer by then and since when did Yatake also grow out his hair? Then when Yatake was fucking him, Haruki asked himself if this was how it felt like for Akihiko when he touched Haruki’s hair.

After the time with Take-chan, Haruki didn’t really know how many men he had slept with. It wasn’t that many, but Haruki wasn’t keeping count anyway. At the end of the day though, Akihiko was still the only person on his mind. Every time he had sex, he would still be reminded of Yakihiko one way or another, whether it was the other person’s body or action.  
And it hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> Pls come talk with me on Tumblr although it's pretty much dead  
> kettleowl.tumblr.com


End file.
